An Update On Magnets!

I announced in my previous post that I was going to be trying a new (to me) depression treatment called TMS or Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. I’m about halfway through my treatment program and I wanted to give an update. The short version is it seems to be helping.

I haven’t experienced any significant side effects. Sometimes there’s a minor tingling feeling on my scalp during and immediately after the treatments. I also experienced some extra tiredness, which I was told ahead of time that this would likely happen. The tiredness was mostly during the first 2 weeks, though I will occasionally have a day still when I feel extra tired. But those things have been manageable. As far as depression symptoms go, I did experience the “TMS dip” where my depression got a bit worse in weeks 1 and 2 before improving in weeks 3 and 4. This is also fairly common and I was warned it might happen.

Midway through the first week I noticed the dip starting. My depression symptoms all got a bit worse. It was harder to do activities, even basic ones like cooking and showering. I spent a lot of time on the couch reading or watching TV. I took the attitude of just living through the next couple of weeks so I didn’t find this dip overly distressing. And this was nowhere near the worst depression I have experienced.

Every major bout of depression, I have seem to have a different normal activity that just becomes irrationally hard for no apparent reason, and this past year that thing has been showering. I’ve never loved showering, it aggravates my POTS symptoms and makes me feel exhausted. Over time I’ve slowly adjusted how often I shower to accommodate my physical limitations. At this point I only shower once or twice a week unless there’s a good reason to shower more often. That first week, during the worst of the TMS dip, it took me 3 days to psych myself up enough to shower. And even then I had to bribe myself with take out for dinner and a night on the couch doing nothing.

The next two weeks of showering were much more normal, taking me about 3-4 hours to psych myself up. Then this last week it took all of 10 minutes. It normally feels like there is a giant boulder in my way and I have to climb over that boulder before I can even get in the shower. This past week I simply walked around the side of the boulder instead. Took 10 minutes. It was kind of magical.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that my knee jerk reactions are much more positive. Eric got sick a few weeks ago. Normally I would respond to that (internally, mostly) by thinking, “Oh no! We can’t both be sick forever!” and then the catastrophe continues from there. This time around though, I found myself assuming that he would get better rather than worse. I didn’t train myself to think that way or anything, that was a brand new neural pathway at work.

I’ve started sleeping less. For the last 5-6 years I’ve slept around 12 hours a day. Lately I've been sleeping more like 9 hours. I also generally have more of an interest in doing things. I’m making more plans for the future and saying yes to more invites. I’ve been focusing better. When I need down time physically I’ve been reading more and watching TV less. I’ve finished several books in the past few weeks. And I can’t say for certain if this is a direct result of the magnets or not, but I haven’t gotten a migraine since starting, and normally I would have had anywhere from 2-6 migraines in that time.

So overall I’d say TMS is going well. All the progress has me feeling pretty optimistic. The real test will be if this can be sustained of course. But I have to get better before sustaining better becomes the goal. So here’s to hoping I continue going up from here!