Could Do List: A Depression Coping Mechanism

One day last fall my husband was being insufferable and went on a long rant about how To Do lists are useless. He was reading a book about how, if you need to get something done, you should schedule it. I found his rant a bit insulting since I am a person who regularly uses To Do lists or variations thereof. This post is a defense of one of my favorite variations on a To Do list that I call a Could Do list.

Over the years with depression I’ve tried all manner of things to help get me out of a depression or to help me cope while I’m in one. One particularly helpful tool has been a Could Do list. It’s similar to a To Do list but with some key changes. For starters I never have the intention of doing everything on my Could Do list. This is an important distinction since otherwise I would become easily overwhelmed.

Basically what I do is make a very long list of anything and everything I can think of that would be beneficial in any way. These could be tasks related to cleaning, self care, self improvement, cooking, caring for friends or family, organization, or even personal hygiene.

Any task that would take more than about 10 minutes I break up into smaller pieces. As an example I don’t put ‘do the dishes’ on my list, I put ‘empty the dishwasher,’ ‘load the dishwasher,’ and ‘wash the pots by hand.’ These are each separate tasks that do not need to be done at the same time. So I break them out into multiple smaller tasks to make them easier to tackle.

I also include things like ‘calling in a prescription refill,’ ‘showering’ or ‘getting dressed.’ When I’m struggling with depression those things can be very challenging. Other similar things that often end up on the list are ‘eat healthy food’ and ‘go outside.’ I also include reading books but I break it down by chapter. Simply putting ‘read’ on my list would be too vague and possibly overwhelming. I’d drive myself crazy trying to decide what counts as reading. Does it count if I only read 2 pages? What if I read some and then check that off the list but later I read some more? By breaking it down into chapters I take the guesswork out of it and make it easier for myself later.

The goal is to be able to look down a very long list of things that would be helpful to do and find the ones that look the least horrible and do those things. When I’m depressed it’s hard to find motivation to do things. Everything just feels kind of pointless. By casting a wide net I set myself up with at least a chance to succeed.

This also allows me to get a lot of checkmarks which encourages me to keep going. I typically keep the same list for about half a week before making a new one, that gives me time to check a good number of things off. Then when I make the next list I go through the tasks I haven’t done yet and reevaluate if they are actually important or not. If they aren’t important and they are stressing me out I just leave them off the next list. If they are important and I just haven’t managed to do them I might try to break them down even further to make it easier to bite off a bit at a time.

Lastly, I feel like I should mention that this sort of list does not help me if I am feeling primarily anxious. When I am anxious I use lists much differently, typically making the shortest possible list of only the biggest priority items. Different challenges call for different solutions.