How Chronic Illness Has Forced Me Into Good Habits

I became chronically ill when I was 22 years old just a few months after finishing college. In many ways I have been ill for my entire adult life. Because of that my illnesses have shaped who I have become in some really profound ways. Many of my choices have been motivated my the simple desire to be able to function.

It turns out, my various illnesses have forced me to adopt a lot of positive habits. I eat mostly unprocessed foods, I exercise regularly, I keep to a strict sleep schedule, and I (usually) prioritize self care. Despite the objective goodness of these habits in my life I still find myself frustrated, sometimes even angry, because I feel I was forced into these habits rather than choosing them for myself.

The hardest parts are when I have to miss out on fun things like going out with friends because it doesn’t work with my sleep schedule. Or when I can’t go out to dinner because the restaurant doesn’t have food I can eat. It can feel isolating to have to choose between my health and my friends. It’s been really important for my mental health to maintain friendships despite my illnesses and many of my friends have been wonderful about taking my health concerns into account when we are making plans. Still, there are times when the conflict just can’t be avoided.

One way I’ve found to work around this problem is to go to events at friends houses where I feel comfortable using their guest bedroom if I don’t feel well. That way I can come to the party or the dinner and be around my friends for awhile but still have a backup plan if I don’t feel well or if I just get too tired. Another option that’s helped is to host things so that I can choose the activities. This takes some forethought and planning, and it can be mentally taxing, but I’ve found it to be a good way to continue to have a social life while also taking care of my health.

As my friend group has aged over the past decade or so I have seen this problem get easier. I think this is because the culture in your early 20s is much more active than that of 30 year olds. Around 30 is when many people start establishing these kinds of good habits for themselves even if they do not have medical problems. I’m no longer the only person who doesn’t want to stay up late. I’m no longer the only person who wants to eat healthy foods rather than just beer and fried foods. It’s becoming increasingly common for outings with friends to be going for a hike or some other form of exercise. All these little shifts make it easier for me to navigate the hard choices of Chronic Illness.