Let's Talk About Bad Mental Health Days

Bad mental health days are inevitable for me, so it’s been important for me to have a plan for the bad days. It took me 5 years of therapy (so far) to get this plan together, but it seems to help. The biggest thing I remember on my bad mental health days is that I didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes these days just happen and that’s okay. Some days are bad enough that the only thing I can do is get through them, and that’s okay too. Some days are more middle of the road and I can make some good choices that will help me in the future.

On my bad days I feel like I can’t do anything, or don’t want to do anything. I have both anxiety and depression which makes for an interesting mix of symptoms depending on which one is acting up the most. When the anxiety is the dominate feeling I usually feel too scared of taking action to do many things. I’m afraid that I’ll do the wrong thing, or that someone will get upset at me for whatever I do. Sometimes I’m scared that whatever I do will harm me, like if I eat something it might have gone bad and make me sick or if I go for a walk I might hurt myself. I know that logically none of that holds up to scrutiny but my mental illnesses never seem to care about logic all that much.

When I’m depressed I just don’t have the will to do much. Usually my depression isn’t super severe, it’s just persistent. I find that my motivation is lacking but more troublesome my concentration is virtually non-existent. You know when there’s something you’re dreading or you are worried about and you need to psych yourself up mentally before you try to do it? On bad mental health days every decision feels that way. I have to hype myself up to get up and go to the bathroom, or turn on the tv, or get a glass of water.

I don’t have a perfect plan for dealing with these types of days but having any plan at all helps so much. For instance, I have a small box filled with index cards sitting next to my couch in the living room. On each card I’ve written down something that might help on a bad day. They include deep breathing, plan something to look forward to, get cozy, address any physical illness or pain, make a to do list, take a walk, and others. On the back of each card I’ve written why that thing might help me feel better. This is because I find that I often am skeptical of things when I’m struggling with mental health. This way when I look at one of my cards and think ‘This is dumb!’ I can flip it over and remind myself all the reasons why it’s not dumb.

If you are struggling with mental health problems, or even if you just feel like you have too much stress, I can’t recommend therapy strongly enough. It can be hard to find a counselor that is a good fit but once you do and you start working with them it can change your life in so many helpful ways. Another great resource is makeitok.org which provides resources on how to talk about mental illness.